The author presents a collection of three animal-themed essays. In The Toad, the Turtle, and the Duck, a group of complete strangers bitterly discuss the order of things within the animal kingdom. In Hello Kitty, a miserable alcoholic cat attends AA. In The Squirrel and the Chipmunk, two lovers are torn apart by their quarrelling families.

A misunderstood boy takes on ghosts, zombies and grownups to save his town from a centuries-old curse.

The six horrible Herdman children create mayhem during Halloween.

The six horrible Herdmans, the worst kids in the history of the world, cause mayhem throughout the school year.

Ray is an ex-convict who is married to Frenchy, a former stripper. Ray concocts a scheme to rob a bank by digging a tunnel from a defunct pizza place next door. As a cover, Frenchy opens a cookie shop in the storefront while Ray digs in the back. Ray's burglary is a failure, but Frenchy's cookies are a rousing success, and within a year the store has spawned a nationwide franchise that makes both rich. However, while Ray wants to move to Miami and...

At 48 years-old, Manhattan restauranteur Will Keane adores women, but has never thought seriously about marriage or commitment until he meets Charlotte Fielding. As their relationship blossoms, they both realize that this love will last a lifetime, but for Charlotte a lifetime may be much shorter than either of them is prepared to accept.

After years of incredibly bad dates, Charlie thinks she's met the man of her dreams. But, poor Charlie is in for a shock when she finally meets his overly possessive mother Viola. Determined to scare off her son's new fiancée, Viola hatches a scheme to become the world's worst mother-in-law. With the help of her loyal, wise-cracking assistant, Viola does everything she can to break up the happy couple. Charlie gets wise to Viola's schemes and decides...