From the Book - First edition.
First. I don't want to be dying in order to tell you these things --
Jobs. Fuck. This. List. --
Job description for the dumbest job ever --
The Super Bowl of interruptions --
I am the one woman who has it all --
Dear stay-at-home moms and working moms, you're both right --
Time-out. Just what I wanted, a whole twenty-four hours of recognition once a year --
"If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy": revised and expanded --
If you love your grandparents, go visit them --
Let's have the wedding later --
Time-out. Your cute wedding hashtags twenty years later --
Kids, it's time you know the truth--your mother is a real piece of work --
Thank you for including me on this meal train but unfortunately I'm a horrible person --
Your participation trophies are bullshit --
September 17, 2010: the day I turned the car around --
The ghosts of Halloweens past --
Time-out. Radiohead song or accurate description of my parenting? --
Are you sure there isn't something else I can do before the end of the school year? --
Schools. The walls that define us --
Pro/con: caving to PTO bake sale pressure --
Please don't get murdered at school today --
I don't care if you go to college --
Time-out. What do yo think of my son's senior picture that was shot by Annie Leibovitz? --
Anne-Marie Slaughter is my safety word --
Bodies. Who does that? --
As young as we'll ever be --
Time-out. Fifty-one things you should never say to a mother ever --
Is there a parenting expert on this plane? --
Freedoms. Do you have faith in me? --
Just because you can, doesn't mean you should --